Why Women Live Longer Than Men!
Two Walmart greeters were sitting on bench during break.
One turns to the other asking, "Slim, I'm 73 years old and I'm just full of aches and pains, I know you are about my age, How do you feel?
Slim says,"I feel just like a new born babe."
Rather amazed his coworker repeats his statement in the form of a question,"Really? A new born babe???"
"Yup", grins Slim,"No teeth," "No hair" and "I think I just wet my pants."

 
A flight attendant on a United Air Lines cross-country flight nervously announced: about 30 minutes outbound from LA, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners."

When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight."

Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!